Hell for Hire
by Rachel Aaron
“If you’re a witch of the flesh who needs to build a protective forest out in nowhere Seattle, have I got the demon crew for you. ”
Meter Ratings
〰️
Meter Ratings 〰️
Cozy Meter: 3/5
Spicy Meter: 0/5
Epic Meter: 2/4
Ew Meter: 2/5
Re-Readability Meter: 5/5
Feelings Meter: 5/5
Overall Book Vibes:
Immaculate
Trigger Warnings:
violence, gore, bodily injury
Summary
〰️
Summary 〰️
In a world where the freaking King Gilgamesh (hate that guy) decided that dying wasn’t as fun as killing the gods and colonizing the afterlife, the witch Adrian Blackwood has a problem. He went against the requirements of Gilgamesh as a child, which forced the Blackwood coven to shield him from Heaven’s ire.
Now he’s an adult, and he’s ready to take responsibility.
Naturally, this means transporting his broom and his familiar (a talking cat named Boston) to Seattle to build up his own protective forest and deal with the consequences of his actions without putting his coven at risk. Of course, no heart-tree forest is built in a day, so Adrian hires a freelance demon crew for protection.
And that’s where the fun begins.
Flanked by the crew’s leader, a badass horned demon named Bex, a nonbinary, shapeshifting lust demon, a wrath demon (who loves cats and pasta,) a voice demon who can suck the fun out of everything, and, well, a self-driving RV, Adrian sets out on his task to grow and secure his forest before he’s swarmed by Gilgamesh’s warlocks.
But, the more attached he becomes to his demon crew, the harder it is to ignore the plight of all demons. With Heaven’s worst nightmare vying for a revolution, what’s a witch to do but jump into the fray?
My Review
〰️
My Review 〰️
I’ll be brief (jk there’s truly no chance): this book has my entire heart and soul.
This was my first Rachel Aaron read, and it has made me so excited to delve into the rest of her work. The characters are top notch, and we get to know each of them intimately in under 400 pages. Seattle is a fascinating backdrop for a magical Heaven/Hell underbelly. And THE MAGIC SYSTEM. It is one of the most fascinating systems I’ve come across as of late. Aaron has a brilliant way of making each of her scenes compelling and a bit mysterious, which had me tearing through this book and absolutely rabid for the sequel.
What surprised me the most about Hell for Hire was its layers. When I started it, I was fully in for a cozy ride. It has found family, it is written in a lighthearted and humorous tone, and it has a talking CAT ffs. These are a recipe for a nice night sipping on tea and reading about character shenanigans.
What took me by surprise was the way Aaron was able to maintain the voice of the story and the humor in each of her characters, while simultaneously getting DEEP into my emotions. This isn’t just a story about a witch trying to build a forest, it’s a story of colonization, of slavery, of continuous self-sacrifice, and the utter heartbreak of not having been able to free those who have been subjugated, despite giving away your life to the cause. It is a story of two beings who have the weight of the world on their shoulders finding themselves with the help of each other and their friends. It is the story of what choosing the ‘least bad’ option from a tyrant rather than making a stand can do. It is a story of intense hurt and loss, yes, but also of rebirth and hope. This book does a phenomenal job of naturally integrating the dark history of their world throughout the story, and, the more I learned, the more invested I became.
And our chaotic demon crew? They are absolutely perfect. I love Iggs with his hulking form and main desire being to pet cats. Lys appears to be simply a, well, lusty lust demon on the surface, but holds so much more under said surface. Nemini is an absolute buzzkill and I’m obsessed with her. And, of course, Bex is the badass demonic heroine of my dreams. Her character has a beautiful and relatable arc that left me wildly emotional and I truly can’t wait to see what she does next. Everyone has their own unique personality that grows throughout the book, and I found myself trying to slow down my reading so I didn’t have to let them go.
Additionally, Aaron sure knows how to build tension. Each scene in the book plants little seeds that build up to its epic finale. Every fight scene is visceral with description. I can clearly picture the beauty of Adrian’s heart-tree forest in my mind (yes, I would love a vacation there.) And the nods to different landmarks in Seattle were icing on the cake.
Hell for Hire started out as this random indie book I picked up because a friend told me to, and quickly became one of my top reads of the year. It made me feel all the emotions, the writing was impeccable, and the world itself is so fascinating and complex that I am rushing to pick up the next book in this Tear Down Heaven series to go further down this rabbit hole. Whether you’re into contemporary urban fantasy or not, this one is definitely worth the read.
Overall Rating on my shelf: 5/5
Favorite Quotes
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Favorite Quotes 〰️
“The heart of a witch is the Blackwood, and the heart of the Blackwood is a witch.”
“The bones, the flesh, and the soul. Every witch uses all three, but we dedicate ourselves to just one. Those who bury their bones are witches of the past. Those who bury their souls are witches of the future. I buried my heart. That makes me a witch of the present, and in the present moment, there is no greater gift than joy.”
“In the great cycle of life and death, the will to survive was paramount. Everything that lived did so only because of the tenacity and resourcefulness of the billions of generations that came before it. To treat such a gift as disposable spat in the face of everything the forest was. It would not stand.”
“The Blackwood is more than trees. It’s also the cornered animal who fights for its life, the mother bird who fakes injury to draw predators away from its nest, the snake that still bites even after its head is severed. The forest taught me that when it gave me back my heart, and I will not ignore its lessons to satisfy your fear.”
The Workout
〰️
The Workout 〰️
The Warmup
aka let’s prep to set the world on fire.
1x Through
3, 2, 1 Squats - 8 reps
Walkout Spider Lunges - 5 per side
Alternating Reverse Lunges - 5 per side
Jumping Jacks - 30 seconds
Corpse Pose - 40 seconds
Cat Cow - 30 seconds
Plank Pike Toe Taps - 6 per side
Adductor Rocking - 20 seconds per side
Strength
Do one set of moves right after the other, then repeat the entire thing 3x
8 per side Reverse Lunge Kicks (KICK A WARLOCK IN THE CROTCH)
30 seconds Scissor Kicks (IN THE CROTCH, DAMNIT)
30 seconds Speed Skaters (dodge around them trees we don’t have time to trip)
8-10 Squat Pulses (to get them legs ready for KICKING)
6-8 Offset Chest Flies (when we’re down for the count, we punch at an ANGLE)
6-8 Underhand Rows (elbow them damn warlocks off your back)
Accessory
Buckle up; we’re going to WAR (after…building up our cardio for it)
What do our heroes have to do a bunch of? CARDIO. Let’s get our endurance up for swordfights and sprinting away from kick demons with:
20 second Sprint (all out)
1 minute easy peasy pace
(Do 6 rounds, take a 2-3 minute break, then do it all again one more time!)
Cooldown (aka after the battle - obv we won)
20s per side Pigeon Stretch
30s Cat Cow
30s Childs Pose
20s Cross Crawls
20s Wall Angels
20s per side Half Kneel Twists
